We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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