Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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