Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
