So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
