I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
