loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
