My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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