I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
