how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
