marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
