im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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