What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wear drunk well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
