if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
