You really coming over, don't trick.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
