guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We got so high we made milksteak
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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