Your tits are I can't wait for
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
