they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
