omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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