I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
