my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
