did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
