Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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