Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
