Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
