the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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