I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
