She said her name was "party"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
