It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
