Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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