Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
