piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
