Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
