ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
