I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
