I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
being pregnant is like rehab
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
