Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
