im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
