I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
