okay pat passed out under dana's car
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
