we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
