Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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