quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
In other news, I just burned my penis
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
