3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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