My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
