Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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