i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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