How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
