i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
