Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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