I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
