I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I supernannyed him into submission
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
