Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
