did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He felt like a one man threesome
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
